About Chocolate Parfaits

J’ai tué ma mère

I remember that neither Shii nor Gorp nor many other reviews I saw really liked the film. Either they preferred Xavier Dolan’s other movies, or they made a lot of negative comments on how he is young etc. Maybe the film is not a masterpiece in handicraft and there was nothing about the storytelling that really stood out to me, but there is something fresh about the story itself and how Dolan played its main character. It seems that I have never grown out of these teenage stories, and this is a teenage story written by a teenager, which is utterly unusual and thus very intriguing to me. But if the greatness of “J’ai tué ma mère” must be judged on whether its ‘message’ is good or not, then it may not actually be that great for many people because not everyone can identify with those characters. Case in point, “The Great Gatsby” is really not that great of a story with all its despicable characters and rather simple ending. Furthermore, Gatsby (like Raskolnikov for example) is extremely fascinating and fun as a character, but no normal human is anything like him and nobody will read the book and say “Oh wow he’s just like me!” In the case of “The Great Gatsby” it’s Fitzgerald’s amazing writing that turns this sad man into aforementioned fascinating character and his lame love story into an incredibly fun read. In that regard, “The Great Gatsby” is the exact opposite of “J’ai tué ma mère”, whose characters are very close to life, so if they are not close to you, then the film might easily be boring to you. Heck even I thought the end was rather stupid, and I resented the main character for cheating on his super cute and supportive boyfriend. Perhaps Hubert’s situation is not that easy to relate to after all: I assume that most people have a nice mother who may freak out if her children were gay, whereas Hubert’s mother is absolutely not nice but pretty OK with him being gay.

As for me, I see the movie from a completely different perspective: Being a mother now, I am ridiculously afraid of the idea of turning into a hellish mother who happens to be OK with my children being gay. Dolan managed to paint the picture of a mother who is hateful yet extremely human at the same time. She does so much for Hubert and he is obsessed with her, yet she fails with him on so many other accounts and he has every reason to be angry with her. Her “I wake up at 5am every day for 17 years” totally got me, just imagining that life would drive me crazy. To me it’s no wonder that she kind of turned into this witch who feels like her son is nothing but ungrateful. So please God let me not turn into that witch.

I also think the mother kind of looks like Shirley Maclaine. Just a little bit. I look forward to seeing her in “Mommy” again. Actually, after “J’ai tué ma mère” I am totally looking forward to Dolan’s other films, perhaps everybody is right and his other movies are even better. That would be awesome.

Melancholia

I have to admit that my relationship to von Trier is quite unusual: I never look forward to his movies or get excited about the release of one, and every new one makes me go “Ugh what the heck is he doing again and why has he never made Wasington?” Yet at the same time, his movies are must-watches for me and for the most part, I actually end up seeing them (much unlike some of my other older favorites like Almodovár or Inarritu or Sofia Coppola). But for some reason, it took me forever to watch “Melancholia”. We kind of attempted it for five minutes but somehow that day our attention span was way too short to even get beyond the first 5 minutes of the film. Cue to 3 years later: A lot of happened in my life (or rather my life was completely turned upside down) and after much soul-searching, I saw that “Melancholia” was on the German Netflix and finally decide to watch it.

It was a revelation. Sometimes I think you can divide people into two groups – those who have actually experienced a form of depression and those who haven’t. Then there may the group of people who experience something of that sort but are delusional or just unknowledgeable about it (I was in that category at some point). As a result, the enjoyment of this movie is actually quite strongly tied to whether you “get” Justine’s character or you don’t. The internet is full of “oh she was just a bitch” kind of comments and I quickly stopped reading them because it’s so pointless. To me, the movie itself made a lot of sense, and I actually preferred the first part that was not all about the impending doom (though I actually really enjoyed the sister relationship in the second part as well). I would be fine if the whole movie had been about how Justine blows up her life (which made me glad that I never did hahaha), because that part just mirrored my self-destructive inner self to a T and I don’t think I have ever seen anything like it. I know that every depression is different (and I have thankfully never been that bad) but for the general gist of it, Justine comes pretty close to what I think depression is and I don’t think any writer has ever managed to carve a character like that with so much perfection as von Trier did. Hats off to you, Mr. von Trier, I didn’t think you had it in you (when I should have expected it) and I should have taken you more seriously in the first place.

Other than that, I thought the movie was beautiful, delicate, wonderfully acted and directed – it’s a hit or miss (just like everything von Trier makes is a hit or miss), but for me it holds a very special place now. Oh and what would I give for a lavish wedding in a Scandinavian castle. I would wear a huge white dress with a comfy white sweater and a fluffy hat covering my ears. “Melancholia” is perhaps the most dreamy movie Lars von Trier has ever made, and it works wonderfully as a contrast to its characters’ breaking apart.

The One I Love

If I had known that this movie would stop my blogging spree for months, I may not have watched it. Honestly, I always have an incredibly hard time writing about relationship movies, and the biggest backlog accumulators are always these titles I have personal mixed feelings about (“Secretary” was one of those.)
To be fair to the film though, a lot has happened in the meantime: A missed trip to Paris, a trip to the US, several illnesses (colds and such) and a somewhat bumpy start into the new year. I can’t believe the last time I actually blogged about a movie was in November. Damn.

In theory, the premise of “The one I love” is pretty awesome and it really makes for an interesting story. It’s these kinds of special situations that unveil your deepest true nature and that reminds me a little of an anime series we are currently watching, Death Parade: Take some sort of game or unusual setting, throw a bunch of people in there (typically a couple) and watch what they do. It’s so simple yet so effective. When it comes to “The one I love”, there is also some sci-fi blabla around it, but let’s just suspend disbelief here, because the true interest of the story lies in 1. what the characters actually felt and how they acted and 2. whether the dude ended up leaving the place with the real or the “wrong” Sophie. I like to believe that the movie ended up with the guy actually changing his real wife with this slightly rushed meaningful monologue of his, but in this case, I actually think that it’s supposed to be very open-ended. (In fact, I admit that I spent perhaps 1-2 hours perusing the internet for discussions and theories on the film, when I could have used that to write this blog posting hahaha.)

With that said, I was dissatisfied with how unbalanced this couple was. The wife was clearly the shitty one, whereas the husband never even considered going for the other woman. Elizabeth Moss’s great performance saved that Sophie character a little, but overall she just pissed me off throughout most of the film; heck I couldn’t even understand her whatsoever, which – to me – is a failure of the writing because these kinds of chamber pieces survive on the realism of its characters. One could argue that it’s common for relationships to be so unbalanced, that a total asshole could be dating the sweetest girl in the world, but in this particular context, I think it would make more sense for both characters to be somewhat at fault. Sure, Ethan also spied on Sophie and got crazy jealous, but hey he had every reason to be and from my view, he’s like 10% at fault while she should take up 90% of the blame. Better stories on a crumbling relationship typically maintain this balance mostly (like in “Viaggio in Italia”) and I wish “The one I love” at least had better characters to make up for it.

Nevertheless, despite my personal irks with the Sophie character, I think that the film is an interesting thought exercise on our relationships and how saving a relationship is probably mostly about taking a step down from your idealized version of the other person while trying to improve yourselves together.

The Pianist

The year is almost over and I have no idea what you guys watched these days (except for Shii who kindly told me what he is seeing at this year’s Viennale). Other than that, my recommendations list from you guys is shrinking and nothing much is being added to it. OK, I admit it’s shrinking very, very slowly but some progress actually happens!

“The Pianist” is one of these films which I planned to see when it came out (oh God that was 2002) and now, 12 years later, I finally came around to do so, but only because the movie was conveniently on Netflix. Unlike most other films I see (hello “10 things I hate about you”), I think that my enjoyment of “The Pianist” is pretty independent of my current life situation. It’s one of those utterly universal films, a glimpse in history which deals with nothing else but the most general human condition. I probably would have liked the movie just as much at age 18 or at age 38.

With that said, the first part of the film was absolutely unbearable. While the family was still alive, everything was just so damn tragic. Ironically, it was only after Szpilman lost almost everything that his suffering seemed easier to bear for me as a viewer. I knew that he was a real person who was survived the holocaust, so the movie became a little less scary after he actually had nothing to lose anymore. We also saw significantly less human interaction with the Germans later in the film, while the first part showed a lot of suffering people. (That woman who killed her crying baby so it won’t give away her position, that one is haunting me more than it would have at age 18, I admit that.)

The only thing that struck me as slightly odd in the film was how every woman apart from Szpilman’s family was blonde and stylish – heck I thought Dorota and Regina were the same person, that’s how similar they looked to me. In general, I was a little taken aback by how overstyled the movie was, but at the same time it actually made the movie look great.

Polanski is kind of like Gus van Sant – he can do blockbuster and he can do small indie-ish films. For Polanski I think I prefer his early and late work over his famous Hollywood films, and for Gus van Sant I prefer his big name films like “Good Will Hunting”. Overall, “The Pianist” is pretty much just as awesome as I expected.

10 things I hate about you

If there is something I love in life, it’s a film that blows my mind. I saw a lot of very nice films recently and in fact, I think it’s been quite awhile since I encountered a real dud – life is just too short for real duds. “10 things I hate about you”, however, is one of those rare cases where I expected a nice evening and then ended up with tears of laughter or nostalgy, I couldn’t even distinguish between those anymore.

My excitement for the film was so strong that Pixelmatsch ended up watching the film on the same day, and it was fun to hear his comments on some of the jokes just two hours or so after I saw them. Who would have thought that teenage comedies can be so witty and so much fun. Nowadays they don’t make these comedies as much anymore, and they also don’t look the same. There is something refreshingly outdated in the 2000’s style these kids were dressed in, and the tummy-showing shirts fondly remind me of my own youth. (I recently threw away a few shirts that show your navel when you put up your arms, and realized that I don’t fit into any of my miniskirts from the time anymore. Now my style is distinctly mid-2010s mid-20s and much more cutesy.) Just like those people who revel in their 80s youth, I secretly laugh at everything that screams 2000s yet I would defend it against any of those other generations. “10 things I hate about you” is an example of that time which I somehow saw 15 years too late, but I am so glad I saw it now that much time has passed since my own teenage years.

Even if you hate teenage comedies and find the 2000s style ridiculous, the film still stands on its own. It features an absolutely lovely Heath Ledger and an awesome Julia Stiles, along with many genuinely witty lines and a fun story. OK maybe “wit” is subjective and it just so happens that I found the film very funny. Nevertheless, I love this movie to pieces and I would want to watch it again and again.

Secretary

Uh, this is a tough one. I was feeling emotionally confused and decided to watch “Secretary”, the only somewhat serious romance in my Netflix queue at the time. I heard quite a bit about the film and it appeared a lot in reactions to “La Vénus à la fourrure” where people complain about how S&M relationships are nothing like in that film, citing “Secretary” as a realistic and good example. I think this is comparing apples with oranges. In one case we have a dude who is kind of delusional in his masochistic fantasies and who is being told off by a woman who exposes his misogyny, in the other case we have a traditional love story based on mutual attraction and a common ground in terms of sexuality and, most of all, despite the dom-sub thing going on, these two characters are absolute equals in their relationship.

Nevertheless, I personally had trouble getting behind the dynamics in “Secretary”. I can kind of understand the sexual aspect but not so much the psychology behind these characters’ relationship. As a result, I thought that the characters were likable and a good match, in fact they have a lot of chemistry together, but I don’t really see how that works. I get a sense as to why Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character gained confidence, because she found someone who accepts her masochistic tendencies and desires her for it, but how do you exactly gain confidence when you want to be beaten up? Maybe I am just too “normal” when it comes to relationships that I don’t really relate to these atypical relationships, heck none of my friends are like that either besides a little bondage in bed maybe. For us it’s all play but in the film it’s actually serious. My lack of understanding for the film is mostly present when I got confused by its last scene. I thought it was a somewhat awkward scene. Her face at the end looked puzzling to me and I was like: “So is she happy or not?” It was the internet that explained her face to me (it was supposed to look defiant), cementing the message that their relationship was indeed blossoming.

Another slightly off-putting aspect is the weird style of the film. Maggie Gyllenhaal’s style starts out being really horrible and the interior design of that lawyer’s office creeps the heck out of me. Throughout the film, she becomes more and more beautiful (of course), but even then she wears one of these oversexed secretary outfits that are somewhat unrealistic.

All in all, though, “Secretary” is a cute relationship story about two unusual people who somehow found each other. It’s probably the most optimistic relationship film I have seen in awhile, and I am impressed that Hollywood pulled that off.

Mine Vaganti

What is worse, “Männer al dente” for “Mine Vaganti” or “Am Sonntag bist du tot” for “Calvary”? It’s a tough competition. However, I have to admit that this title at least made me remember the film. Both Shii and Pixelmatsch have seen it and they were both amused by it. So I totally expected a silly Italian comedy. I never expected Riccardo Scamarcio, who I am still kind of fascinated by, to be a decent actor and appear in a non-comical film. Well, “Mine Vaganti” surely was funny, but more than that it was a kind of serious funny and I would even say that the serious undertones were much more important than the funny ones. It is not without reason that the title refers to the grandmother and not to the sons or the quasi-girlfriend who take up the majority of the screentime. All of these kids are somehow a reflection of her and what she was not able to do – while they were somehow able to overcome the difficulties society (and their own family) put on them, she was stuck with an unhappy fate. It is never really explained what happened to her nor what she really thinks, but through the children we end up empathize with her after all.

I am not saying the film is not funny, but for me its story was extremely heavy. The way it portrayed the lack of tolerance within the family made my stomach churn, ultimately it was a film about the main characters suffering and just generally being quite screwed up but not by their own fault. It’s essentially a “poor rich kids” story, but since it’s so introspective I didn’t think that was a big deal. Lack of money doesn’t have to make you unhappy, so conversely a rich lifestyle doesn’t necessarily make you happy either. Oh and the movie is gay in an absolutely lovable way. I really liked the scene in which Tommaso and Marco make up, it was a sweet moment that these actors pulled off really well.

Direction-wise, I absolutely hated the film. The music was way too overloaded (OK fine it’s an Italian movie, but still! Visconti’s light comedies are not this bad when it comes to that!) and the camera kept moving way too much. Maybe it was supposed to signify something (like distress) but it sure annoyed me. I strongly believe that less or at least calm camera movement tends to make better films. (Nowadays, I even love Ozu after all.) At the same time, I didn’t really expect great direction from this film, I am really glad that it has a good story and that makes me content. It’s just unusual that I find the direction of a film so remarkably bad.

My sympathies for Spain, Italy and Portugal have been evolving. I had a Spanish phase ever since 10th grade till I lost interest in seeing the newer Almodovar films, then I got into opera and all things Italian, and then just this year I went to visit Lisbon which sparked a big love for Portugal. But Italy is not yet fading for me, I definitely still have a thing for it, and “Mine Vaganti” is a fantastic example of how likeable Italian movies can be.

Jack goes boating

Recently, I have been watching a lot of relationship films and romantic comedies, I have to admit that I just love them. The toughest aspect about them is that my opinion on them depends heavily on the content and much less so on how the film was made. As a result, I remember absolutely nothing about how Hoffman shot the film (except for that hookah scene maybe) but it was just about the story for me.

Speaking of hookahs, I so hate them by association. I never tried them before but the worst guy who ever played a role in my life had roommates who owned one and it was a thing they did together sometimes.

But I digress. I do remember how the film unfolded slowly and there is something so very sweet about the slowness in which this relationship progresses. I was also absolutely in love with the character of Jack. His meek but persevering attempts at wooing a woman are plain lovable, and it was nice to see how he explodes into anger when something went really, really wrong. It was so realistic and human and I just liked that. Aside from that, the story just puzzles me. So the perfectly selfless neighbors are having their relationship broken up because they can’t get over their cheating, and the main character somehow fall in love but you never really understand why. What the heck do they see in the other except for the fact that the other one is trying? If love was that simple (you just have to try), I would lose all faith in the world. The film reeks too much of “oh they just happen to be available for each other and they don’t expect any more”. But if that doesn’t bother you, then the “please rape me” scene. Essentially she is too shy for sex, or rather she is afraid of being touched. So what does she say? She stutters: “So… what if you… overcome me?” Then he grabs her and she is overcome and they have sex. Absurd and kind of infuriating. Please, girl, just admit that you are a sexual being and if you absolutely have to be embarrassed and disgusted at that idea, at least don’t push the responsibility to the guy who “overcame” you. You wanted it, and – big news – it’s perfectly fine.

I suppose I vented a little bit too much on a film that is supposed to be sweet, and it really is. I enjoyed watching it, I just don’t buy its story. I think that the side couple is being treated too one-dimensionally and I am a little sad that this film’s writing is screwing with a perfectly nice premise. I know nothing about the play it’s based upon, and I wish it has a little more depth.