Kramer vs. Kramer
While Pixelmatsch has 2 more movies to blog about (and the final ranking which I am of course most excited about), I am determined to kill my backlog. This year has been rather fruitful in terms of films. But while I think that I saw many worthwhile films and learned a lot (“Dersu Uzala” or “Tony Takitani” were certainly great and almost eye-openers), there has yet to be something completely blowing my mind. I think my favorite movie of this year (so far) was RoboCop.
“Kramer vs. Kramer” is another attempt of mine to see a few classics. It was about 15 minutes into the film that I realized I had already seen it before, on German TV back when I was a child and long before I had any interest in films. It was the kind of movie we saw at random in the typical evening movie slot at 8.15pm. I have many childhood memories of these movies, and “Kramer vs. Kramer” was one which I remembered pretty well, I just didn’t remember the title nor the actors. At the time, I remember how the relationship between father and son became warm and loving and vividly recall the two scenes in which they make French toast together – their chaotic first attempt and their heartwarming teamwork at the end of the film.
I was probably 9 or 10 years old when I saw the film, and was fascinated by the premise. Any child, no matter how much they may be convinced their parents would never walk out on them, would probably be able to relate and fear their parents’s separation. I completely understood Billy’s position and totally saw myself in him. Interestingly enough, when I saw the film again, I thought that Billy was awfully spoiled. Of course I get behind his behavior and realize how much a child would be affected when suddenly faced with a disappearing mother, but Billy’s behavior at first just seemed nonsensical at times. My first reaction was basically “Argh what an annoying kid”. It is only with time that Billy warmed to his father and I warmed up to him.
“How cute!” That was my final reaction to the film. As a tearjerker, Kramer vs. Kramer is probably the perfect movie. In many aspects, the film is awfully realistic despite its typical Hollywood feeling, which can only be attributed to the greatness of the actors, particularly Dustin Hoffmann who is absolutely great with the boy. The feelings of love in a parent-child relationship are strong without being kitsch in any sense, and I can only hope that I will be able to establish such a close bond with my own children as they do in the film, or as my parents did with me. The other relationship I really liked about the film was the one between the father and his neighbor – a genuine platonic male-female relationship is so lovely!
There are many other aspects I never paid attention to back in the day. Especially the drama in the courtroom surprised me from today’s perspective. How are you a better parent because you make 4000 dollars more a year? How are you an irresponsible parent if you have neglected your work in the past because your child needed medical attention? Why are you to blame when your child had an accident nobody could have done anything about? Especially so when the child was in your care while the other person walked out of their responsibility altogether? It is ironic how the mother technically won everything – she left the dirty work for her ex-husband to do for 2 years, only to come back with a higher paying job than him, a new boyfriend and take the child away again.
From the other perspective, I was a little taken aback by the argument that the wife failed the marriage. If anything, they both failed together, but in most cases (as it seems so with this one) it is hard to say that anyone is to blame. On top of that, the lawyer argues that if a husband does not cheat, does not strike you and does not drink, he is a “good husband”. My goodness. Nora’s husband also never did any of that but he still exploited and abused her, and Ibsen saw that in 1879. For all the progressiveness in the father-son-relationship, that particular scene along with the fact that the wife even had a Doll’s-House-like dilemma suggests that the film contains rather traditional aspects after all. Thank goodness at least here we have an understanding husband who managed to change his ways.
I am glad to have seen “Kramer vs. Kramer” again as an adult. It confirms how memorable this film is, despite its Hollywood-ish elements which push all the right buttons to make you feel emotional.